kindred spirits
Here's something I recently posted as a comment to Bipolar Daily. Why? Your guess is as good as mine.
- I talked myself out of jail in Oxford, England
- I kicked out the rear passenger window of a police car while in custody in Toronto
- I lost my virginity age seventeen to a woman who picked me up at a punk gig after I had drunk a litre and a half of cheap white wine
- I dropped out of high school and am now a visiting professor at a university
- my SAT score at age fifteen was higher than George W. Bush's on his acceptance to Yale
- I have been compensated for professional work in at least five art forms
- I danced with druids on the Winter solstice at Stonehenge. I also fell asleep in the centre of the circle on my first visit there
- on my first visit to Japan I arranged a Valentine's Day date with the lovely young lady seated beside me on the plane
- the only girlfriend I ever cheated on married me and bore my child
- I watched the LiveAid concert in Toronto from a window of the lock-down wing of the psychiatric ward at age seventeen
- I've appeared on television knitting at least twice
- my only published writing is still a poem written when I was eight
- I've had one gay acquaintance inform another that I'm a flaming heterosexual
- I learned how to scuba dive with the crown prince of the Netherlands in a murky lake in Ontario
- I've purchased illicit drugs in four countries and sold them in two
- I punched my brother in the forehead while he was talking on the phone
- I've taken LSD, morphine, lithium, librium, shot synthetic heroin and smoked hashish all within a three-hour span
- my preferred shaving cream is Pollena Lider from Poland
- the only times I have set foot in Germany have been at rest stops on overnight buses - four times
- I took a ski-lift to Czech and back
- I punched a cop in Korea and he was ordered to apologize to me
- my favourite guitar has travelled around the world with me twice, once in each direction
- I have been asked for my natural daughter's adoption papers at Canadian immigration. We are both Canadian by birth.
- I was in a high speed collision age fourteen, smashed my head against the windshield, and walked away from it
- I have never had a car accident while driving
- my newest car was a fifteen year old BMW
- I painted it myself
- the last NHL game I attended, I snuck into
This is all perfectly true!
- I talked myself out of jail in Oxford, England
- I kicked out the rear passenger window of a police car while in custody in Toronto
- I lost my virginity age seventeen to a woman who picked me up at a punk gig after I had drunk a litre and a half of cheap white wine
- I dropped out of high school and am now a visiting professor at a university
- my SAT score at age fifteen was higher than George W. Bush's on his acceptance to Yale
- I have been compensated for professional work in at least five art forms
- I danced with druids on the Winter solstice at Stonehenge. I also fell asleep in the centre of the circle on my first visit there
- on my first visit to Japan I arranged a Valentine's Day date with the lovely young lady seated beside me on the plane
- the only girlfriend I ever cheated on married me and bore my child
- I watched the LiveAid concert in Toronto from a window of the lock-down wing of the psychiatric ward at age seventeen
- I've appeared on television knitting at least twice
- my only published writing is still a poem written when I was eight
- I've had one gay acquaintance inform another that I'm a flaming heterosexual
- I learned how to scuba dive with the crown prince of the Netherlands in a murky lake in Ontario
- I've purchased illicit drugs in four countries and sold them in two
- I punched my brother in the forehead while he was talking on the phone
- I've taken LSD, morphine, lithium, librium, shot synthetic heroin and smoked hashish all within a three-hour span
- my preferred shaving cream is Pollena Lider from Poland
- the only times I have set foot in Germany have been at rest stops on overnight buses - four times
- I took a ski-lift to Czech and back
- I punched a cop in Korea and he was ordered to apologize to me
- my favourite guitar has travelled around the world with me twice, once in each direction
- I have been asked for my natural daughter's adoption papers at Canadian immigration. We are both Canadian by birth.
- I was in a high speed collision age fourteen, smashed my head against the windshield, and walked away from it
- I have never had a car accident while driving
- my newest car was a fifteen year old BMW
- I painted it myself
- the last NHL game I attended, I snuck into
This is all perfectly true!
posted by kodeureum | 1:19 pm
5 Comments:
Wow, these sound like lyrics to a boastful blues song! I kept waiting for you to say "Who do you love?" Sounds like you've had a colorful life (that's probably just the half of it)
One thing I was curious about: Why did the Korean policeman have to apologize to you after you hit him?
http://onsetofreality.blogspot.com/
It's a long story but to shorten it up a bit, the subway workers were on work to rule and I was picking up my four year old daughter from her babysitter. We met at the subway station and I was planning to take the subway home only to discover that with the shortened hours I had missed the last train. I was arguing with the guy in the ticket booth about getting a refund of my fare so I could take a bus, but the buses are a bit more expensive. It was a Friday evening and I was basically tired and pissed off. One young genius who was doing his military service with the city police was listening in and figured it would be wise to call my babysitter a whore. I guess he figured I wouldn't understand him. I walked over and asked him to repeat what he said. He claimed he hadn't said anything, so I put down my briefcase and whacked him upside the head. He wound up and gave me his best taekwondo punch on the nose. I then put down my daughter who I had been holding in my other arm, and was about to really lay into him when his junior police buddies pulled him away. My daughter was crying and her babysitter was understandably upset as well. She persuaded me to leave the station and get on a bus.
Imagine my surprise the next Monday when the young genius himself got on my subway car with me at lunchtime, pretending to read a National Geographic and accompanied by two senior officers. He sat across from me for a few stops and then after some prompting came and sat beside me. He said "I'm sorry" twice before he figured out that I was refusing to even acknowledge his presence. Perhaps he's now chief of police. But I doubt it.
You know, I need to do some list entries like that. I think mine may not be as entertaining as yours but I fell I might have a few weird things of my own to go on about.
I have posted a link to your blog on mine ...I hope you don't mind...If you wish I could remove it...thanks
I have posted a link to your blog on mine ...I hope you don't mind...If you wish I could remove it...thanks
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