taking the piss out of your cornflakes
Well, I managed to have fourteen messages posted to the Globe last week without even really trying, so here they are:
March 11th
Imperfect or fraudulent, you be the judge. I'm relieved that Google is settling for less than 1% of its recent revenue. I'm sure the rest could be donated to promote literacy in India or some other just cause. (Google to pay $90-million in 'click fraud' case. Otherwise known as "chump change".)
I'm glad that all the thousands of Canadian university graduates paying off their student loans working here in South Korea teaching English like me have managed to do our bit to keep the unemployment numbers in check. (Jobless rate matches 30-year low. Everyone else seemed to be discussing moving to Alberta. I prefer Korea, actually.)
March 9th
I remember the glory days of the Blue Jays, back-to-back World Series champions before the strike that killed the Expos' chances of earning their rings. But an all-Canadian team? What a concept! (Miracle on grass: Canada beats U.S. For some odd reason they closed the comments right after mine.)
March 8th
Perhaps Canada should adopt a screen quota system similar to the one in South Korea that was recently re-negotiated in a series of free trade talks with the U.S. Any given day at my local cinema here in Daegu there are at least five Korean films for every three foreign ones. The revised screen quota system requires cinemas to have a Korean film on each screen for at least 75 days a year. Imagine the wonders such a system would work in Canada. Then perhaps I could be rightfully proud of the booming film industry in Vancouver, Toronto and across the country. Let's see more acknowledged Canadian talent in our cinemas, from screenwriting and directing on down! $6.2 million is a joke, by the way, comparable to a $62 million take in the U.S. For many films, that's just a good first week! (Canadians crazy for C.R.A.Z.Y. I'm betting you haven't seen it either. There was only one other comment.)
My sympathies and condolences go out to Ms. Tanner's family and friends. It is especially difficult to lose a loved one overseas. I hope the investigation into her demise will assist in bringing at least a sense of closure. (Body of missing Canadian found in Germany. This one scared me as I recently discovered that a dear friend of mine has moved to Berlin. I had the only comment.)
How about another website for all us Canadians living 'overseas' to assist in explaining how Canadians and Americans are actually different? (Website aims to educate Americans about Canada. As usual, no-one seemed to catch my drift.)
March 7th
If the U.S. adsministration could just pull its head out of the dark place it's been and realize a) Iran fought a war against Saddam Hussein's Iraq, b) Russia fought against the Taliban and c) sustainable nuclear energy is in everyone's best interest, we might be halfway to a solution of this "crisis". (Iran bending on uranium enrichment. You really don't want to get me started on this one. I worked as a cook for two years with Iranian ex-soldier refugees who participated in human-wave attacks on Iraq during the eighties. Some fun.)
Regarding Andy Garrett post no. 8: considering the results of your last presidential election, the Michigan national guard would probably side with Canada, most likely in a coup beginning in of all places, Florida.
Sim O from Toronto: are there still Fenians in America? I thought they all wised up after the botched invasion during the War of 1812. And isn't there now some sort of independence from Britain for most of Ireland? As for Canada being a target of Osama et al., pay close attention to how Stephen Harper behaves. One wrong move in foreign policy and I'm afraid you might be right. (Israel: Hamas PM-designate not immune from killing. I've never before read so many comments from so many opinionated assholes.)
March 6th
I fully agree with Stephano Piaginno. Until I receive my own M.D., I am going to take my daughter's doctor at her word and have her vaccinated. She recently received her MMR booster, and all of her vaccinations have been given here in South Korea where I have to pay cash. I consider them a good investment. Ignorance and doubt are what lead to things like, dare I say it, the plague and SARS. When and if I happen to contract the avian flu virus, I'm not going to question the efficacy of Tamiflu. (Study finds big shortfall in childhood vaccinations. Just so you know.)
Ah, the Canadian Film Centre, another hotbed of nepotism and exclusion. Looks like you've already got your foot in the door, girl. Good on you! (A best actress at 10, she already wants to direct. The only other comment was also a zinger: PutDown Pete from Canada writes: Maybe she can phone Macalay Culkin for some tips on how to be COMPLETELY UNEMPLOYABLE by 25.)
Magic squares, prime numbers, useful for encryption schemes. Now, why do my encrypted e-mail address, blog registration and other signings-in require a PASSWORD? Sure, numbers are useful, but Benjamin Franklin was first and foremost a man of letters, forever to be remembered for Poor Richard's Almanac. How about his scientific experiments as well? It's a sad state of affairs when three men have to specialize so minutely to gain any recognition as researchers. Kudos on cracking Franklin's number square. Now provide us with some applications. (Magic math mystery solved at last.)
Peter Loly from Winnipeg, Canada writes: David Marshall attributes some statements in the last two paragraphs of the article to me, but my reading suggests that they are by my colleague Paul Pasles. Paul published a fine article on the history of Franklin squares. Colleagues Dame Kathleen Ollerenshaw and Professor David Bree in Manchester have a patent for using related squares in cryptography, and colleagues in Munich have another in the works. This resonants with Marshall's note. Also the simpler Latin squares have been used in statistical designs for a long time. Soduku is a special type of Latin square. (Is this a rebuttal?)
March 4th
Is it possible to order tinned baby seal meat? I'd like to try some. All the whale I've eaten in Pusan, South Korea has been delicious. And I particularly adore lamb chops. The alligator I had in Texas was a little like chicken in an unusual way, but easily much tastier than rabbit. As for buffalo or bison burgers, I can take them or leave them. Quail, on the other hand, doesn't have nearly enough meat and duck is a little greasy. Perhaps if I could get my hands on some free-range Canada goose... (Premier faces off against ex-Beatle. Comment 175 of 230. Someone must have been watching Larry King.)
Yes indeed, marijuana has more medical benefits than booze. Alcohol triggers depression or psychosis; marijuana triggers mania, psychosis AND schizophrenia. (B.C. pot activist says 60 Minutes will show his real self. I consider this one a right-field fly.)
March 11th
Imperfect or fraudulent, you be the judge. I'm relieved that Google is settling for less than 1% of its recent revenue. I'm sure the rest could be donated to promote literacy in India or some other just cause. (Google to pay $90-million in 'click fraud' case. Otherwise known as "chump change".)
I'm glad that all the thousands of Canadian university graduates paying off their student loans working here in South Korea teaching English like me have managed to do our bit to keep the unemployment numbers in check. (Jobless rate matches 30-year low. Everyone else seemed to be discussing moving to Alberta. I prefer Korea, actually.)
March 9th
I remember the glory days of the Blue Jays, back-to-back World Series champions before the strike that killed the Expos' chances of earning their rings. But an all-Canadian team? What a concept! (Miracle on grass: Canada beats U.S. For some odd reason they closed the comments right after mine.)
March 8th
Perhaps Canada should adopt a screen quota system similar to the one in South Korea that was recently re-negotiated in a series of free trade talks with the U.S. Any given day at my local cinema here in Daegu there are at least five Korean films for every three foreign ones. The revised screen quota system requires cinemas to have a Korean film on each screen for at least 75 days a year. Imagine the wonders such a system would work in Canada. Then perhaps I could be rightfully proud of the booming film industry in Vancouver, Toronto and across the country. Let's see more acknowledged Canadian talent in our cinemas, from screenwriting and directing on down! $6.2 million is a joke, by the way, comparable to a $62 million take in the U.S. For many films, that's just a good first week! (Canadians crazy for C.R.A.Z.Y. I'm betting you haven't seen it either. There was only one other comment.)
My sympathies and condolences go out to Ms. Tanner's family and friends. It is especially difficult to lose a loved one overseas. I hope the investigation into her demise will assist in bringing at least a sense of closure. (Body of missing Canadian found in Germany. This one scared me as I recently discovered that a dear friend of mine has moved to Berlin. I had the only comment.)
How about another website for all us Canadians living 'overseas' to assist in explaining how Canadians and Americans are actually different? (Website aims to educate Americans about Canada. As usual, no-one seemed to catch my drift.)
March 7th
If the U.S. adsministration could just pull its head out of the dark place it's been and realize a) Iran fought a war against Saddam Hussein's Iraq, b) Russia fought against the Taliban and c) sustainable nuclear energy is in everyone's best interest, we might be halfway to a solution of this "crisis". (Iran bending on uranium enrichment. You really don't want to get me started on this one. I worked as a cook for two years with Iranian ex-soldier refugees who participated in human-wave attacks on Iraq during the eighties. Some fun.)
Regarding Andy Garrett post no. 8: considering the results of your last presidential election, the Michigan national guard would probably side with Canada, most likely in a coup beginning in of all places, Florida.
Sim O from Toronto: are there still Fenians in America? I thought they all wised up after the botched invasion during the War of 1812. And isn't there now some sort of independence from Britain for most of Ireland? As for Canada being a target of Osama et al., pay close attention to how Stephen Harper behaves. One wrong move in foreign policy and I'm afraid you might be right. (Israel: Hamas PM-designate not immune from killing. I've never before read so many comments from so many opinionated assholes.)
March 6th
I fully agree with Stephano Piaginno. Until I receive my own M.D., I am going to take my daughter's doctor at her word and have her vaccinated. She recently received her MMR booster, and all of her vaccinations have been given here in South Korea where I have to pay cash. I consider them a good investment. Ignorance and doubt are what lead to things like, dare I say it, the plague and SARS. When and if I happen to contract the avian flu virus, I'm not going to question the efficacy of Tamiflu. (Study finds big shortfall in childhood vaccinations. Just so you know.)
Ah, the Canadian Film Centre, another hotbed of nepotism and exclusion. Looks like you've already got your foot in the door, girl. Good on you! (A best actress at 10, she already wants to direct. The only other comment was also a zinger: PutDown Pete from Canada writes: Maybe she can phone Macalay Culkin for some tips on how to be COMPLETELY UNEMPLOYABLE by 25.)
Magic squares, prime numbers, useful for encryption schemes. Now, why do my encrypted e-mail address, blog registration and other signings-in require a PASSWORD? Sure, numbers are useful, but Benjamin Franklin was first and foremost a man of letters, forever to be remembered for Poor Richard's Almanac. How about his scientific experiments as well? It's a sad state of affairs when three men have to specialize so minutely to gain any recognition as researchers. Kudos on cracking Franklin's number square. Now provide us with some applications. (Magic math mystery solved at last.)
Peter Loly from Winnipeg, Canada writes: David Marshall attributes some statements in the last two paragraphs of the article to me, but my reading suggests that they are by my colleague Paul Pasles. Paul published a fine article on the history of Franklin squares. Colleagues Dame Kathleen Ollerenshaw and Professor David Bree in Manchester have a patent for using related squares in cryptography, and colleagues in Munich have another in the works. This resonants with Marshall's note. Also the simpler Latin squares have been used in statistical designs for a long time. Soduku is a special type of Latin square. (Is this a rebuttal?)
March 4th
Is it possible to order tinned baby seal meat? I'd like to try some. All the whale I've eaten in Pusan, South Korea has been delicious. And I particularly adore lamb chops. The alligator I had in Texas was a little like chicken in an unusual way, but easily much tastier than rabbit. As for buffalo or bison burgers, I can take them or leave them. Quail, on the other hand, doesn't have nearly enough meat and duck is a little greasy. Perhaps if I could get my hands on some free-range Canada goose... (Premier faces off against ex-Beatle. Comment 175 of 230. Someone must have been watching Larry King.)
Yes indeed, marijuana has more medical benefits than booze. Alcohol triggers depression or psychosis; marijuana triggers mania, psychosis AND schizophrenia. (B.C. pot activist says 60 Minutes will show his real self. I consider this one a right-field fly.)
posted by kodeureum | 9:10 am
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