the return of the Dave files

Here's a comment I had posted to Dave's Google conversation room, Stop the Inanity.

Well, living in Korea I've noticed that there are fewer and fewer American films being released here every month. When American studios start remaking Japanese horror classics like the Ring and even subtle romantic comedies like Shall We Dance on a regular basis, I'm switching to Bollywood. I haven't seen too many TV shows from the sub-continent, and even if they did remake Miami Vice with an Indian lead, at least he'd be able to sing and dance. The biggest suspension of disbelief I'll be making in the near future with any American movie will be getting around Colin Farell's Irish accent in The New World as John Smith. Paddy O'Brian maybe, but John Smith? Even Angelica Jolie and Val Kilmer were sounding a bit Irish by the end of Alexander, weren't they? As for remakes of other films, did you happen to catch The New Producers? I'm pretty sure Gene Wilder never appeared in any Neil Simon plays. What's the point? The stage musical version was a pretty obvious move given the plot, but if they wanted people to pay to see a truly funny movie, why not just re-release the original with Zero Mostel? And isn't it a little obvious having Uma Thurman as a Swedish sex-bomb? There was an HBO-BBC co-production on TV recently, The Life (and Death) of Peter Sellers, which displayed the most genius casting I've seen in years. Imagine if you will Geoffrey Rush in the lead and an alomst unrecognizable Charlize Theron as his Swedish model second wife. Pure perfection. And the scenes where Rush portrays Sellers as Clouseau: I am kissing the tips of my fingers all at once, and then releasing le petit baiser to heaven.


Speaking of blonde sex-bombs, I thought Dave might enjoy feasting his eyes on this one:

Scarlett Johansson
Date of Birth: 11-22-84
Height: 5'4"
Hair: Brown
Eyes: Green
Birthplace: New York, NY
Occupation: Actress

That last part of her profile, regarding her occupation, is especially apt. After watching her exceeding aplomb, finesse and poise on Saturday Night Live recently I can assure you it's no joke. She has also co-starred with Bill Murray, albeit in an exceptionally lame movie but BILL MURRAY, the same man who turned up in the gutter in front of the Ed Sullivan Theatre for a Late Show appearance! Now that just oozes style and grace, not to mention class.